I had the most mind-blowing date with a 33-year-old last month. She was gorgeous, sensual and intimate, and just being with her was the most extraordinary experience. And by the time we parted, I was yearning for more.
She also had a 1.6-litre, 110bhp engine and a 4-speed manual gearbox.
That’s what driving the Mk 1 Golf GTI does to you, I guess. At the recent launch of the Mk 6 in the south of France, Volkswagen thoughtfully brought along a couple of pristine Mk 1s – one white, one red – from its factory museum in Wolfsburg, to demonstrate how the spirit of the original hot hatch still lives on.
And while the white car remained displayed on a plinth for the duration of the event, to my disbelief, Volkswagen incredulously put the red one at our disposal for test-drives.
Punt a 33-year-old perfectly preserved motoring icon through gorgeous Riviera countryside in the spring? I didn’t need to be asked twice.
The next morning, before most of the other journos had even crawled out of bed, I was haranguing for the key.
Of course it feels like an old car at first. The door clangs shut behind you, the cabin trim – even on this pristine example – looks ready to fall apart, and every bit of switchgear seems spindly and brittle by today’s standards.
But move off and the age of the car will be the last thing on your mind. The engine, unfettered by any manner of catalyst or emission control, rasps, blips and blares in response to every twitch of your throttle foot, and it delivers the go to match. With so little weight to shift (810kg), there’s instant urge available at any revs, even from almost idling speed.
And amazingly for an ancient 8-valve motor, it continues to sparkle as the revs pile on, even up to 6000rpm and beyond. Even by today’s madcap standards, the Mk 1 feels quick. It’s credited with a 9.2 second 0-100km/h time. But the way it hurtles down the straights, a time in the low 8s would be entirely believable.
Your progress is aided by the sweet, slick gearshift. Gear lever action isn’t super crisp and it’s a bit long of throw. But the shift is light and very quick, and there’s somehow more “feel” in the actual shift action than on modern cars.
But for feel, nothing beats that wonderful steering. It’s unassisted but still perfectly manageable. And the unfiltered stream of feedback that flows through its chunky rim as you stroke the car along – and the way it weights up deliciously as you wind on more lock – is simply unmatched in any car on sale today, bar perhaps the Lotus Elise.
All of which encourages you to push the car ever harder. And you’ll discover immense levels of grip that are simply impossible to reconcile with the skinny 175/70 R13 tyres that the car wears. With so little weight and such small dimensions, the Mk 1 is brilliantly agile and flickable, and barely rolls even when cornering at its limit.
So addictive was the experience that my short drive turned into an hour-long, adrenaline-fuelled charge through the hills. It was mind-blowing. And, yes, it was that good.
ENGINE 1588cc, 8-valves, inline-4
MAX POWER 110bhp at 6100rpm
MAX TORQUE 140Nm at 5000rpm
GEARBOX 4-speed manual
0-100KM/H 9.2 seconds
TOP SPEED 182km/h
CONSUMPTION 12.5km/L (combined)